Yep doing it! 5 days and and seeing Bon Iver in one of the greatest cities in the world.

My job is going great, however the fact I don’t have a degree means I can only get so far in the ‘financial world’. Sure in 4 years I could be making decent great money but I could do so much better with a degree. So I am faced with a decision I need to make by november; to go to Uni or keep working…

I am in love with this city so if I decide to go to Uni then it means another change of life, I could do Uni in England and live on campus… Have some major dept! Or come back to Australia and take up my place at RMIT in Melbourne or Wollongong Uni… I could keep my course preference or change to business management/marketing (something really boring!)

Decisions… This could mean a huge change and then i think whats holding me back from uni? Well i love my life, i like the business women life. I like my boy, i like working with him, I like nights out in London, I like life right now….

Anyone have any advice? because I feel so confused and lost right now..

Sitting on my bed when I can feel something under me, it’s my diary from the last 6 months of me being in London. It begins with me leaving Sydney, leaving you. It describes my confusion of being here and me finding myself here, it reads the laughs, the loves, the drinks, the sad days and the lonely nights. I started here feeling quite lost and then I started my job and met Simone and Simon and things started to make sense here, It felt like home, I was truly enjoying myself and felt content. The last entry is me leaving London, now it’s time to write about arriving again, this time being left.

Funny how things have changed with me and the people around me. Going back to Sydney made me realize how much I love it here in London and how much this needs me, I need it. I love my room, my house, my friends. The smells in London, the sites.. I need this so much. Maybe I just like moving, which is true I don’t want to stop.. Come two years I would love to see myself living in New York, (wow imagine that?) Being in Sydney was great to see the people I have missed, I did things I never thought I would get a chance to, in two weeks I managed to drive down the west coast of Australia, party so hard I was sick in Kattys toilet (never happens), cried a whole heap on a few friends shoulders, laughed, smiled, made new friends, found hidden secrets, oh god the list is endless… I don’t know when I’ll be back in Australia again. I doubt it will be this year. Next month I’m going to Vienna to see Sara, then Paris with who ever will come! That’s what’s nice about here, I feel free.

Well today is my first day home, I’m going to buy some new furniture, pick some flowers and read a book. Back to work tomorrow. Better make today great!

I feel so strange being here, it’s like I never really left.. I wonder what would be different if I never left? I wouldn’t of met so many wonderful people, no camden nights, no work secrets, no spontaneous adventures in soho, no midnight feasts, no Simone, no lots of people.. If I didn’t leave I’d be at university right now, I’d be probably at RMIT in Melbourne of maybe even Wollongong Uni.. I would probably be at the front of a gig watching stokes play guitar with a smirk on my face, I would be seeing my sister a lot and I would be still living at home. I would go to kafe for coffee and think how much I love Wollongong even though as much as I despise it.. I do actually love it. I would take Jo out for sushi and walks at Cronulla stealing Katty on the way. I’d take photos of Jo and annoy her with my flash.. I would be flirting with the ocean jumping through the waves. I wouldn’t be cooking for Simon or being cooked for and I could forget about being spoiled, I wouldn’t be working in the financial world, I wouldn’t wear a suite.. I wouldn’t be walking across London bridge or planning trips to Paris. I might be doing weekend trips to Melbourne to try and make a few dinner dates with a creative boy. But I would be painting because I’d have time for that.  I wouldn’t be going to markets with Simone or planning my future in the ‘financial world’. I’d end up in a normal job, possibly at a cafe.. I wouldn’t be trying to see the important  people this week in such a rush, I’d be living simply. Doing the thing you do after school… What is that? Furthering your education? Well I guess it’s not for everyone.. Not sure what is for me though? I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.. In the end all that matters is happiness right? I am happy in London so I guess that’s where I should be.

I’m happy, genuinely happy. What’s new? Well I got a promotion at work you could say, instead of being an administrator I now open accounts in a top financial firm, hell yeah. I have a great pad that I’ve decked out and made it all georgia like. I’ve also got a ticket booked to head back to Sydney in April for a week, I don’t know when I’ll be back next.. I don’t want to stop moving. I’m doing so well on my own here, I am doing great and I am proud of myself. I’m also going to organize my trip to Paris with Simone soon! I’m so excited! Me and my girl in Paris! Maybe even Amsterdam? Oh god the possibilities, especially with us are endless…

tomorrow is the first day I would have just stopped and had nothing to do in particular since I left Sydney two months ago.. WOW this is good, I like this. Then Sunday I move into my new place!

Well I got my official acceptance letter into RMIT melbourne uni today, choices and achievements..

Last night after wondering down brick lane in the middle of the night with Simone (we have become night hawks) we met a guy who looked extremely lost, he was maybe mid 20s, financial business type.. Somehow we keep adopting strange lost people on our nights out haha anyway back to the story.. So George was his name and he was lost and upset, he was ranting about these girls he had hanging around and how frustrated and upset he was with the way he was being treated. To this I responded with “well stop hanging out with girls that have personalities like that”, it’s pretty simple right? But then again we can’t help who we are attracted with in a sexual or even a friendship level. Sometimes we know people aren’t good for us yet we stay because something in us doesn’t want to walk away.. George then in the middle of Brick lane (he was slightly drunk.. Ok very drunk) said I’ll give you girls some advice, “don’t waste time on people who don’t love or care for you” How right he is.. George the drunken business man was absolutely right..Something to think about..

Words are really JUST that and people lie and fake feelings all the time. People need to remember that, I forget that? I myself am at fault. Don’t believe/buy into everything on face value, try to remain grounded and don’t let others have the power to change your mood. One of the cruelest things you can do to another person is pretend you care about them more than you really do, so people lets be honest to one another or at least smarten, harden up and stop being so god damn naive.

I am so excited, I get to see my Sydney Kitten Indigo, who got in yesterday! Finally an old friend to mend my homesick heart. I also get to see a few of my boys who got here yesterday as well, Jarrod and Brendon from villa rise. Things are coming together so perfectly for me here. I also have been talking to a lovely girl called Simone who I will see tonight as well! Oh happy days.

I feel content today, genuinely, actually happy? I accept that I am here and so many people are on the other side of the planet but hey I AM IN LONDON, this is amazing? Of course I miss so many wonderful people, stokes especially but I am happy and I know that things will be alright, things will work fine and even if they don’t I’m on one hell of an adventure and things are just starting.. Bring on the new year I say

• be less fickle and naive (mostly to do with males
• enjoy the now and live in it
• stop double dipping
• tell you how much you mean to me and how much I adore the time with you, but realistically you should know this
• get lost in this huge city and realize that that is perfectly alright
• write more letters to my girls and boys in Aus
• not be so trusting of everyone and realize some people are really shit human beings
• not read your status and everything else updates
• stop worrying so much and realize everything will be ok
• cook more
• go back to Paris
• spend more days in bed, a stack of movies, endless tea and no worries 
• stop worrying…again
• take more photos and not be so critical
• leave my phone at home for once and turn the internet off at home
• appreciate you

It’s freezing cold ouside, the windows have frost on them and I can see my breath when I go outside. Yes I am definitely in England, in Winter. Day one: I felt home sick, I touched a button on my phone to see the wallpaper of me and my gorgeous sister and I felt sick.. Have I made the right decision moving half way around the world?

Well It is day four and I woke up today realizing that change is what I need/ed, I need to make these decisions for myself and have new experiences or I will probably never do this for me and just me. Sure I could of not gone, started my graphic design course this coming February, have a part time job, continue to go about my life as any usual ‘adult’ would do…The ‘norm’, but no normal is boring and this year should be nothing like that..

I officially have an English address, a English bank account, a English sim card, oh the excitement of the unknown!I am getting the odd remark on my ‘hybrid’ accent which I don’t mind. Oh I have missed the English accent, the cozy pubs, the smart dressing boys, the different sounds and smells, the deer in the garden, the squirrels.. This is a beginning and I like it, it’s exciting and raw, something I need.

ps. Today I had my first job interview for a company in London and I got the job!